Just another quick note before i get off the topic of radiotherapy is that its very harsh on your skin.You cant go in the sun (pretty much at all) - the same when you are having chemo -because you burn very easily. If you are having either of these kinds of treatment i would recommend starting a really good skincare regime before treatment begins. I did and several drs/nurses remarked on how good my skin was holding up and how good i was looking considering what treatment i was having (its all about the small victories).

My surgery date was set for mid July but in June i got menopausal and let me tell you ladies,its NO picnic!!! I remember asking the doctor once how i would know when menopause had started and he (yes:HE) said "oh,you'll know!" i thought to myself "oooookkkkkkaaaay if you say so" but when it started i knew!!
I've been told that my symptoms were likely to be more intense than usual because the menopause had been 'induced' early (but i really have nothing to compare it with),but Holy Moley! I spent the whole of that winter stripping my clothes off  because i would be bright red and dripping with sweat every 10 minutes.You (well,I) also get this weird,hard to describe feeling like your skin is all prickly and not sitting right on your body. And the sudden flashes of anger and irritation,oh-and did i forget to mention that you start growing gnarley beard hairs on your chin??!!!!
They left dealing with the menopause until all my other treatments had finished (it was about july the following year when i started HRT) due to all the other medications i was taking and Its likely that i will be on HRT for a long time (til I'm at the natural menopause age).
two years later (thats right TWO years!!)  I'm still getting all the same symptoms...all i can say is :thank goodness for hormone replacement therapy!!I started out on half dose patches which you apply to your skin and change twice weekly,only half dose because i've been prone to hormonal migraines since i was 12. They later increased them to full dose,as thats what my body really needs but i do find that i get more frequent migraines so i mix and match a bit and dont put them on quite as often as i should (instead of 4 per 2 weeks i use 3). It took a bit of tweaking but its good at the moment.

I know i mentioned earlier that they were looking at reconstructing the top of my vaginal passage but as we went into surgery that was a bit of an unknown (whether it would actually work etc) and the other option was to sew my vaginal passage shut (goodbye sex life) and that was a REAL struggle for me.
I felt that they were slowly taking away my womanlyness, and of course i didnt understand why manchild would want to stick around.After all was said and done i was not what he signed up for (he says:this is not what i signed up for either!!) and i could hardly blame him if he wanted out (although it would've absolutely devestated me)
The most amazing gift that Manchild and i were given at this time by two very special friends was a night on our own in the top floor of the Duxton (oh lala). It was fantastic and exactly what we needed to centre ourselves and be together before everything changed yet again,with the surgery.
Its very easy to lose yourself and your relationship within an illness,especially with a toddler thrown into the mix. (so thank you so much EandI,i know we thanked you at the time but thank you again.It was perfect and the most wonderful generous thing you could have done for me but also for me and manchild xx).

Then,Murpheys law being what it is,right before the surgery MissK got very very sick from something that we suspect she picked up at the hospital. Her gums went all rotten and black and she was in a lot of pain (understandably). When i was admitted her doctor was also talking about admitting her if she didnt start eating/drinking within the next few hours. I was so scared for her and feeling so guilty that i wouldnt be home for the next 2 weeks to look after her. From memory she was the first thing i asked Manchild about in ICU - and he,knowing me as he does, had actually brought the camera in with him with photos of her smiling and looking happier so that i would stop worrying.

 Me and poor sick child a week before i was admitted for surgery